認識她說起來很簡單﹐就是每天大家都正好那個時間去同一家咖啡店﹐the world bee coffee。我送完孩子上學﹐拿著一本村上春樹的"舞﹐舞﹐舞"﹐要一杯coffee of the day﹐挑了臨窗的位置﹐坐下慢慢讀起來。窗外是條主馬路﹐車輛不算多﹐沿街兩旁是兩三層樓的建築和樓前的櫻花樹。
注意她是因為店裡除了我只有她是亞洲人﹐看樣子也像類似我的情形﹐送完上學等接放學或者等學校通知突發事件比如孩子在學校生病摔傷之類。
開始我用英文﹐但一開口彼此都聽出對方的廣東話口音﹐於是在這片異國天空下用母語開始交談。

她穿著深啡色的背心﹐米色長裙﹐淺啡外套﹐一身棉布質感。我問她哪裡買的。有這種taste的人也一定有地方買到好貨。
"背心是Geordano的﹐聽說是菲傭穿的牌子﹔Esprit的棉布長裙我有好幾條。SARS那年在香港的分店大減價﹐真該多買一些。"
她平靜地呷口咖啡。自嘲穿"菲傭"的牌子﹐內裡的自信顯而易見。
"怎麼要從香港跑過來呢?"
"我不是香港土生的。當年從大陸到北美留學﹐畢業後先生在香港找到工作才搬過去的。只是我一口粵語﹐別人都以為我是香港人﹐尤其是在香港時﹐他們以為大陸人都講普通話﹐講粵語的一定是香港人。我不是像那些太空人那樣跑過來的﹐我是回家來的。"
不覺得有點奇怪嗎?放著講自己母語的地方不住﹐跑到這英文國家來說是回家。
不禁冒昧地問:"看來您對家的定義很有見解啊。"
她撥一下垂下的長髮﹐眼角剛好被一彎秀發掩蓋著。
"很簡單的﹐感覺輕鬆﹐出門碰到陌生人也可以笑一笑﹐商場收錢的也能和他聊幾句﹐語言障礙不是問題﹐隨便一句It is a nice day today已夠。講心意而已。我樓上住了一位小學生﹐也是我們孩子那學校的﹐天天坐輪椅上學。每天學校有特別的助理照顧她﹐讓她有像正常孩子一樣的生活﹐一樣的心態。她告訴我來到加拿大最開心的事是學會講have a nice day﹐ 最喜歡講的話也是這一句。我每回看到她﹐她都要講一遍。看﹐要開心其實很容易。"
那個孩子我也見過﹐天天由母親推著輪椅在我坐的咖啡店窗前經過。她看上去像男孩子﹐頭戴鴨舌帽﹐嘴巴老是張開﹐露出稀疏的幾只牙齒﹐給人智力有點低下的感覺。她的腳上纏了特制的矯形護套附在膝蓋以下到腳板的位置。看來﹐她要踩在地上也得靠這矯形器。
"很簡單"﹐"很容易"﹐她前後用了世界上最直接的字眼。
"知道什麼是鮑魚嗎?"她突然扭頭問我。
"唔﹐好像是很貴的東西吧。"
"多貴也是種高蛋白的食物而已﹐值得為它上法庭大動干戈嗎?"
"你指的是最近中文頻道的那套電視劇?"
"那是真事。還有古董珍珠鑽石首飾之類的﹐打起官司來花的人力物力決不比爭一間別墅少。"
"這就是你回來這個家的原因?"
"很正常的﹐不想將來為那種事不愉快﹐不值得花費精力的事。你看看這櫻花﹐這是你抬頭瞬間映入眼帘的東西吧?"
確實﹐窗外粉紅的櫻花在微風下搖曳﹐陽光在樹逢間流散。

"如果換成人流﹐你看到的是閃閃爍爍的鑽石和珠寶﹐或者商店門口的鮑魚和魚翅。"她的眼神裡出現黯然的色彩。

Happy Easter Day

復活節假期第一天一早七點Margot就來按門鈴。
我們約好今天一起帶孩子上Grouse Mountain 滑雪營。Margot一手抓方向盤﹐一手拿杯咖啡﹐講到滑雪﹐問我有沒有去過這兒那兒的雪山﹐她忘了我來自沒有雪的地方﹔原來她也不喜歡雪地運動。談到開車﹐她又忘了我們沒有十六歲拿車牌的文化﹐以為我也來自類似她的家鄉Ontario那樣的地方。
許多移民以為很難融入外國人文化﹐不愛和他們溝通。我倒發現不少西人並非排外﹐也沒介意我們的口音﹐只是我們不主動﹐人家也不知你願不願和他們聊。
I would say, disclose yourself, unpack yourself, you would be accepted somehow.

上星期三晚LORD BYNG中學有個音樂會﹐學校裡選修音樂的同學上臺表演。每月有幾場。
工作了一天﹐在家吃過晚飯﹐駕車五分鐘去看場這樣的演出﹐實在很是一種享受。
看看稚氣未脫的大孩子在臺上演奏﹐有板有眼﹐有些還達到演奏級水平﹐看著他們比去聽正式的音樂會還要開心。你會看到人性被社會污染之前可愛的一面。有些男孩只穿了牛記笠記﹐隱約還帶著白天上學的疲累﹐一面認真地演奏。
觀眾都是在禮節上很有水平的家長﹐無論表演如何﹐一律報以熱情的掌聲。
這種表演大家都知是鼓勵成份為主﹐不像有些貴族學校聲名是模仿HOLLYWOOD或OSCAR頒獎典禮﹐弄得十歲八歲的孩子就知道買十塊港幣的朱而繩來纏上身﹐以博青睞﹐那已經和辦這類演出的宗旨想去甚遠了。
所以說﹐從未在外國生活過的人才會憑想象去模仿﹐以為什麼都"奢侈"包沒錯。其實﹐有樣東西倒是外國人(或常年定居外國的人)常有的﹐那就是平靜和沉穩﹐那是心理修行得來﹐是社會安定使然。
住在溫哥華的朋友﹐別浪費了這么一個個浪漫的晚上。

飄雪

望著窗外的銀色世界
腦裡不斷飄過陳慧嫻的“飄雪”
皚皚白雪
看似伸手可及
其實飄逸清雅

作曲：K.Kuwata

填詞：簡寧

編曲：趙增熹

又見雪飄過

飄於傷心記憶中讓我再想你

卻掀起我心痛

早經分了手

為何熱愛尚情重獨過追憶歲月

或許此生不會懂

又再想起你

抱擁飄飄白雪中

讓你心中暖

去驅走我冰凍

冷風催我醒

原來共你是場夢

像那飄飄雪淚下

弄濕冷清的晚空

原來是那麼深愛你

此際伴著我追憶的心痛

雪絨花

the Captain - Edelweiss Lyrics
Edelweiss, Edelweiss

Every morning you greet me

Small and white, clean and bright

You look happy to meet me

Blossom of snow may you bloom and grow

Bloom and grow foreverEdelweiss,

Edelweiss

Bless my homeland forever

WINE AND CAKE for NEW YEAR

红酒,水晶杯,芝士蛋糕

迎来二零零八

BC省的红酒听说也有点名气

SHIRAZ一瓶

AWESOME

"AWESOME!" "AWESOME!"

This is the words she repeats almost every week, especially at the concert night of her school.

Every student whoever chooses music as selective lesson during the term will get a seat in a band, or string or orchestra. There are more than ten bands, or stings or chestra groups at the school. Even beginners got a seat!

It is a signal to hard working educators, esp those in HK today -- what out come do we expect when we worry about our kids education? Do elite schools raise up more talented students? What kind of the school could encourage students, enrich their confidence?

Students passed grade 5 grade 6 musical instrument exams and could not find a seat in a school band. It is very popular in some areas.

"AWESOME!"

This is what we parents and children's wish, and more valuable than any other elite outcome.

A few years ago, I went to a golf resort in Guang Dong province in China.
The dinner of first night is buffet in the big hall of the fancy resort. All travel groups show up for the delicious dinner.
When we were moving on in a line from dish to dish, there are so many people jumping around, budging into the line.
I think they believe if they don't want this dish, they just can skip one or the other, and move from the first one to the last one and come back to the second one.
If anyone would like to chase their footprint and draw down the line, one could easily find out a pattern of a spiderweb.

The generation grown up under the red flag never know this kind of behavior is a disturbance to others.
Now this disease is spreading around, first Hong Kong, because it is just cross the boarder, and second, Vancouver.
Disturbing!
Today, at the general office of a secondary school of west side of Vancouver, I was talking to a staff, (attention! I was talking! not finished!) a woman leaned on the counter right next to me, kept sticking her head into the counter, looks urgent, so we had to stopped, and the staff who serving me had to ask her first. Her situation is similar to me, about her child's application file. Why she is so urgent to stress the staff to serve her first?
So disturbing!
And her child will be at the same school with my child, and with all the Canadian kids.

We learn to be gentle. We learn to be not disturbing people in Canada. Why we allow more and more this kind of people coming in and DISTURB our tradition here?

Is this what we want to learn from North America?

There is a teen girl in a secondary school located in west side of Vancouver. The school’s ranking is almost the top in this area. There are many students from rich or/and well educated families. The girl is one of them. She lives in a house of three or four million Canadian dollars.

Teens are always in groups. She joined in a group at the beginning of the school year. She has lunch with her group everyday. She is always the first one to touch others’ food that favoured her, ignoring others’ feeling. When the group girls talking about something funny, if that is the thing she is not interested in, she will not pay attention. Whenever she found the topic being discussed interested her, she will just bud her head in the talkers to disturb their conversation. Everybody in the group hates her, talking bad words behind her, discussing how to get rid of her, but nobody dares to inform her of this point.

It is just about a story of a rude person manipulated a group of gentle people. However, I doubt how this girl going to melt in the culture of North America when she is grown up.
Her father separated from her family, working in another country, so that she can receive the best education in the world. She joined lots of after school programs, and had some achievements. She studied hard as well. Is this the whole thing of those immigrants looking for in North America?
I believe her parents never realized her behaviour is a problem at all, or maybe they are behaving the same at home, setting up a model for kids.

If more and more of these kinds of children rush into North America, the social culture will have a big change in the future, and the moral standard in this gentle society will be challenged.

"It will make your hair straight right away!"

Today, I went to downtown for an interview. It was in Bank of Montreal building, right next to Burrard skytrain station, two blocks south of the coast, a very good location. When I arrived, I found I was 15 minutes early, so I went to the washroom located in the basement shopping mall floor. There are two basins in the washroom. A blond girl was there touching up her make up in the mirror when I entered. At first I did not look at her in the mirror but just at myself. As she was leaving, she smiled to me from the mirror, so I smiled back to her. She flicked her wavy hair and said:"Isn't that nice?" I replied:"Beautiful, where did you get it done?"

"This one? It is natural."

"Mine is natural, too. but I like it be straight."

She let go of the washroom door, drew back her body towards me:

"Babylist! B-a-b-ylist, find it, it will make your hair straight right away!"

"Really? thank you very much!"

"Have a great day!"

"You too!"



What a North American day today!

The time I have been dreaming to enjoy for the past seven years!

I have been thinking to come back, seeing people on the street and having this kind of conversation on and off.

Vancouver is fantastic. For the past seven years, eighty thousand people moving out, with even more newcomers coming in, it is still the same.



We don't know each other, but we help each other. It is a real community. If whenever something happened, the only helpful persons are either our friends or relatives, that is not North American lifestyle.



If whenever a stranger comes to talk to you, you have to stay away most of the time, that is not North American social relationship.



I hope this will not change because of one who moves in, who lacks concept of community.

Sunday evening, almost seven oclock, the snow stopped.

My girl made a snowman in our backyard, using red berries from a tree in the yard as its eyes, buttons and a mouth with lipstick on.

What a fun time, after so many years away from this city.

The next morning, it was raining, no snow on the ground.

Our snowman's head was gone, leaving the body standing there stubbornly.

SNOW

Snow! What a exciting time for my girl!

What a massive moment for adults--driving on the snow!

We need to change the tires for our car.

The flakes are really beautiful, flying around.

Pictures taken outside of our home.

開心原來如此簡單

昨天﹐女兒第一次參加社區中心義工活動﹐回來後很高興地向我展示工作了一天贏得的八小時義工時間﹐很開心地告訴我這裡的人真好﹐只要微微笑向他說聲“hello”﹐每人都會笑著回應﹐就這樣交了很多新朋友。
很開心因為講hello有人回應﹐很開心因為人人微笑。多麼簡單的要求﹐為什麼到了加拿大才能滿足﹖為什麼要搬回加拿大﹐答案不是一目瞭然嗎﹖

溫市的GRANVILLE ISLAND 真是個藝術家天堂﹐林林總總的藝術工場﹐畫廊﹐夾雜著工藝品店﹐有機肉菜市場﹐餐廳﹐中間竟還能規劃出一塊空地讓街頭藝術家一顯身手。香港的西九龍文化藝術區建設是否可以此作參照﹖顧名為島﹐島上設有渡輪到對面的downtown﹐海面卻比中環天星碼頭到尖沙嘴碼頭還窄。島上還有著名的藝術學院EMILY CARR INSTITUTE, 裡面的圖書館任由進出。狹窄的單一行車線環繞商店和學校間﹐還可以開闢幾個容量可觀的停車場。另一所以培養青少年藝術家出名的ART UMBRELLA , 與社區中心相鄰﹐到晚上或週末就有家長來接送這些未來的藝術家。曾在一份英文雜誌上讀到美國公立中學沒有提供藝術課程﹐所以學生在這方面修為較參差。

陳寅恪故居
陳寅恪是我國著名學者，語言學家、歷史學家。20世紀50年代后，東南區一號一直是陳教授的住所兼教學課室。《論再生緣》《柳如是別傳》等名著就是在這里完成的。

黑石屋
由芝加哥的伊沙貝布勒斯頓（黑石）夫人出資為擔任過岭南學堂教務長和岭南大學校長的鐘榮光博士（岭南大學首位華人校長）修建的寓所。1914年動工。為紀念捐建者，后大家稱之為"黑石屋"。現用作學校招待所。

These two houses are still standing in Sun Yat-Sen University now because they have been famous people's home. Those where my friends had ever lived in have been torn down and replaced by new high rise buildings.

(pictures and the Chinese illustration are from http://www.sysu.edu.cn/)

最近看電視劇 “最好的時光”﹐和電影“長恨歌”一樣﹐關錦鵬
選用舊上海房子,裡面的木地板﹐房門洞紅木條鑲邊﹐古色古香的傢具擺設﹐讓我憶起童年住在嶺南大學校園(Sun Yat-Sen University)的時光。小時候很多同學家都住在紅牆綠瓦的小樓裡。我很喜歡上他們家去﹐為的就是那木樓梯木地板﹐走起來“疙瘩疙瘩”地響; 深咖啡色的木扶手上兩道木紋﹐溜光溜光的亮。

我的小學校舍也是紅牆綠瓦﹐前兩年回去看時﹐鑲嵌有亮綠琉璃瓦的紅磚圍牆不見了﹐兩幢教學樓變了民工宿舍﹐我們以前的課室窗戶上掛滿了萬國旗。課室門口長長的走廊外貼的琉璃瓦有些開始出現裂紋。相信不久牆身也會被寫上一個“拆”字。住在裡面的民工正在對面空地上建起一間大兩倍的小學﹐全是現代建築。沿著小時候從學校回家的路走去﹐二﹐三十間舊日平房被高樓代替。
嶺南大學的創始人一百多年前大概沒想到會這樣吧。文化革命時期都沒有被推倒的小紅樓卻無法抵擋經濟革命的衝擊。這幾年聽說那裡建成一座座新教學樓﹐大片的竹子樹林倒下﹐掩映其中的小紅樓越拆越少﹐僅留下幾所有名氣的名人居所。滿載著綠樹林陰與小紅樓的兒時記憶日漸模糊。

董橋講過﹐住在倫敦時想寫香港的事﹐住在香港時又想寫倫敦的生活。現在才體會這話。在香港時總寫北美的東西﹐現在回來了又想念香港的人和事﹐想寫一寫他們。在這裡的遺憾是沒那麼輕易找到想要的中文書﹐更不能親耳聆聽那些大師們的講演。

後悔沒有帶一套“董橋全集”來。

兩種截然不同的文風--大陸和港臺的文化鴻溝

_縱讀下面兩篇對“色戒”的評論﹐第一篇文章“由色戒到張愛玲傳奇”全文有一種武斷的味。作者以非常堅定的﹐而不是商討的口吻﹐賦予李安導演和張愛玲種種評語﹐似乎無須證據﹐以流暢的文筆自立邏輯﹐不管你信不信﹐有點江湖老大。且看下面例子﹕
“李安能對一個暗殺小說這樣揣測，大概對張愛玲的生平已經有了窮途末路的紅學家們對曹雪芹的熱情。當然，藝術故事見仁見智，也很難說什么樣的想法就是錯的。所以紅學家們各自口出奇言，有的宛如痴人說夢，有的不過庸言聵語，卻都能各成一派，相安無事。”
語氣中有種對李安和紅學家的不屑。
“李安的痴人說夢創造了一個電影神話，電影《色戒》已是更多李氏對情欲的超負荷、狂躁型幻想，將張愛玲原作的幻滅感、晦澀、沉重、躊躇、疏离全都推向了酷男美女的床上瘋狂。”
證據呢﹖對一部有反映情慾這樣一種人性東西的文藝片的理解不同﹐反映出評論者本人的趣味。停留在三級境界的人當然只能從那個角度看世界。
最後﹐我想回答作者提出的問題﹕為什麼現代讀者愛張愛玲的作品勝于蕭紅﹖因為小資更符合人性的要求。現代人在基本物質要求滿足後﹐渴求的是有小資情調的精神生活﹐而不是赤裸裸的﹐殺氣騰騰的大喊大叫。

由《色戒》到张爱玲传奇
字体: 小 中 大 打印 加拿大信息娱乐网 anpopo.com 2007-10-17 来源: 网络转载 查看: 39次
《色戒》电影剧照
《色戒》一路风风火火，先是摘取金狮，而后各地首映；除了名导美女帅哥床戏的卖点之外，各个边角料也纷纷被媒体发掘怠尽。一时间，坊间人人都同时患上了色戒饥渴症和消化不良。

李安是始做甬者，他曾说过《色戒》是张爱玲最好的作品，里面有张对胡兰成的恨意。其实，《色戒》的故事除了老易为伪政府供职这一点与胡兰成相同之外，确实没什么能够把两者再联系起来的。李安能对一个暗杀小说这样揣测，大概对张爱玲的生平已经有了穷途末路的红学家们对曹雪芹的热情。当然，艺术故事见仁见智，也很难说什么样的想法就是错的。所以红学家们各自口出奇言，有的宛如痴人说梦，有的不过庸言聩语，却都能各成一派，相安无事。

李安的痴人说梦创造了一个电影神话，电影《色戒》已是更多李氏对情欲的超负荷、狂躁型幻想，将张爱玲原作的幻灭感、晦涩、沉重、踌躇、疏离全都推向了酷男美女的床上疯狂。在现时代风潮中，这是普遍的；弗洛伊德余荫所及，一切似乎都可以到性里面找到解释。而李安在这方面的关注也一贯很大胆，《断背山》同性爱的逾距之后，大概也就只有更极端的情欲才能给他带来创作的出众快感了吧。借此，温文尔雅、颇得中庸之道的李安，一举进入了三级片的新境界，那就是：Sex talks.

sex talks. 性 就是爱，也就是小说中的：通往女人心的是阴道，这也不过是小说里面的一个侧线。乱世里的张爱玲，讲的更多是一个女人措手不及的选择，可怜的大义与更为可怜的肉体温情。张爱玲对世俗心态的捕捉相当精妙，王佳芝选择在暗杀的关键时候放了老易，非理性的、女人突如其来的情感反抗，导致自己和同党很快被老易灭口，这是一个女人的悲剧，一个人命卑贱的故事。由选择作出美人计的暗杀计划之始，王佳芝就已经没有其他出路了，而她自己却在理想的初始眩晕中对自身变化浑然未觉，直到暗杀行动的那个关键时机。从青年学生的冲动，开始付出清白，到渐入情欲险境，整个过程越走越远，大义愈显支离破碎，露出荒诞的面目，而孤独肉体所需的小小安慰毫不客气地葬送了一切，没有意义的、可叹的一切。故事本身已经很丰富，其实并不需要过度情欲张扬的辅佐，已是凝聚了人性的悲慌。

不过，在这里非但看不到张爱玲对胡兰成的恨意，倒是看到了更多张爱玲对意义的嘲笑。一概而论，女人对打破她们爱情美梦的男人总是难免有恨意吧，不过倒不是在这个故事中。

系出名门，青年得意的张爱玲以倔强骄傲并且自我中心而闻名。她是典型的旧上海市民生活的喜爱者，灰色人生的冰冷发掘者，文字精美跳脱的表演者。她的文字当年使我着迷，因此也曾对她的生平有过红学家的热情。那种氤氲不散的腐霉的小人物气息，每一刻都在凋零的年华叹息，在她笔下的每一个细节里，却有着一种绝望的华丽。她曾说“生命是一袭华美的袍，爬满了虱子”。在我看来，极端的悲观主义者和现实享乐者看似错位的结合，是她魅力的最大来源。而她的文字天赋则是以隐淡的聪慧，含蓄的冲击力 结合而成的一种异样而华美的张扬。

但是张爱玲的小说太冷淡麻木，无法给人泪水，也自然缺少深厚感动。她的文字和故事美总是有病态的眷恋，藏掖着彻彻底底的悲凉而没有一丝希望。《金锁记》在极度的冷酷畸形之外略有深层触底；而《倾城之恋》是漂浮在人间的一颗灰尘没有热度的呓语；《十八春》受了新中国文化的影响，人物变得温和，然故事又略显苍白，少了张氏对世俗尖刻的把握。

当年三毛的《滚滚红尘》将张爱玲与胡兰成的故事讲得唯美凄婉，其实《色戒》的视角才更可能是一个现实的张爱玲对爱与世界的视角，这是李安比三毛高明的地方。张爱玲和胡兰成的故事，可以说是一个传奇，因为名人的效应；也可以说只是一个平凡的始乱终弃的故事，一段花花公子和才女短暂的爱情。所谓“岁月静好，现世安稳”，在张爱玲和她的选择那里终将只是一个女人的梦想，但张爱玲不是一个普通女人，没有能力实现普通的梦想。

前一段读到萧红的《纪念鲁迅先生》和《生死场》。萧红的写实，没有小资式的迂回，是直击现实，更为血淋淋，却也更具冲击力。她的细腻之处不让张爱玲，然而笔力在平浅处时有华丽的突起，颇具雄浑跌宕的大气。在与张同时代的女作家里面，只有年轻早逝的萧红在才气上和她仿佛。但是缺少着小资气息的萧红，今天就远不如张爱玲受到大众和传媒的追捧。

七十年前的月亮，曾经照耀她们的笔，那是怎样遥远而清冷的月光呢？乱世里的萧红和张爱玲，悲伤早已进入她们的骨髓，书写着她们试图坚持而最终茫然的生命流离。青春、才情、创作、爱情，在旁观者那里可以成为传奇，在握笔的人却只是随着岁月愈来愈昏黄的月亮，和渐渐干瘦的眉头罢了。无法承担文学使命的脆弱，将一切梦想早早结束在最青春的岁月，随着乱世里的爱情和容颜被尘土与时间所埋葬。

http://www.anpopo.com/index.php/action-viewnews-itemid-6184

這是有character的房子﹐近十多年大量移民涌入﹐拆掉這類舊房子建起他們認為新的現代款式﹐樣子像豪宅﹐令溫哥華的民居建築喪失一貫的鄉村特色﹐破壞了與大自然的和諧。拜託那些從喜歡拆舊建築的地方來的人停一停手。把一座豪宅建在溫哥華﹐實在有辱這樣美麗的自然風光。把豪宅建在市中心嘛﹐那樣你也體面﹐房子也體面。

今天去了yard sale﹐這家人在自家門口放了人仔﹐手上捧著門牌號﹐告訴你yard sale 在後院。後院有個用木搭建的露臺﹐擺了些日用品﹐書﹐傢具﹐貼上價錢。我們買了一隻玻璃水壺﹐然後在整條31街上拍攝。